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Coping With In-Your-Face Loss

Posted on Oct 10 , 2014 in Loss

Coping With In-Your-Face Loss

© By Brad Hodges

I woke up at 7:00am this morning to a call from my pastor.

“Brad I have some bad news,” he stated.

Of course that is a statement all of us fear to hear from another. It is never going to be a positive experience.

“Okay, I mumbled, expecting the worst, what happened?”

He went on to deliver the bad news; a young woman in our church, about the age of 24, had suddenly died in a car crash the day before.

I couldn’t speak when he told me who it was. I immediately broke down in tears and for the next hour after that call, I couldn’t stop crying. I’m still in an emotional flux as I write this as I cannot recall ever knowing someone so close and so young that was abruptly taken from this world. The only condolence is that I know she was a believer so when she left this world she immediately entered eternity with Jesus…that’s all I’ve got right now.

As I said, I knew this young woman very well, I gave her a loving Christian hug on many a Sunday or when seeing her in town, chatted with her about her life and endeavors, shared memorable moments and accomplishments within our church family as related to her for over the past year I have been a member of our congregation since moving permanently to this small town area in New Mexico.

She had just gotten married in June of 2013, merely a month before I arrived here, to a wonderful young man in our church who is the same age as my own son; 26 years old.

They have a beautiful baby girl who was just born in March, about 7 or 8 months old. The baby girl had been in the truck with her Mother when it somehow crashed off the gravel surface of a remote section of county road. Because the baby was securely in her car seat she survived the crash.

This young woman was a real treasure, sweet, quiet, sometimes reserved, but she had begun to blossom over the last 7 or 8 months since her baby had been born. You could see her beginning to emerge as the woman she should have become; confident, engaged fully with her new family as she began to find her place in the world.

She sang in the small choir group, did occasional specials where she would sing in her sweet, untrained voice so soft you could barely hear the words at times. She bustled around the church helping at potlucks, baking cakes and jumping in wherever she was needed, always willing to help.

You often saw her at the only auto repair shop in town that her young husband and his father owned, smiling and holding her precious baby.

While she is in eternity now and conversing with Jesus, as always in earthly tragedies, the living are left behind to cope with the terrible loss unable to comprehend how it could happen or why.

A little baby is left to grow up without her dear mother, a young husband is shattered beyond understanding and facing a completely uncertain future at the moment, parents, in-laws, siblings, friends and fellow church members are all left in shock and emotionally devastated.

All I could do was cry out to God and ask Him why? Not in anger, because as a believer for over 50 years, I have come to know that God has a master plan for everyone and His ways are not our ways so it is impossible to understand the what or why?

I have also come to understand that while God is fully capable of stepping into any situation in life and changing it, that often life just happens in the course that was laid out for it from the beginning of creation. Often God simply does not interfere in the natural course that can encompass things like dangerous gravel roads, nature, human errors or judgements, mechanical inadequacies or any number of dangers and scenarios that envelope living. The list of what could go wrong in life is endless. That is why living on earth is so imperfect, so fragile and so unpredictable.

Eternity on the other hand is predictable and is perfect and the place all believers know they will ultimately end up in. So when a believer is taken from us they reach perfection while the rest of us still have to grapple with the unpredictability we remain in for the time being.

At times like these when a young life is taken and an entire dynasty that could have been is left in the aftermath, we are unable to fathom the why?

We may never understand or know the why or it may be revealed years or decades later. But we must retain the faith that a God who sees the infinite beginning and the infinite end of everything in life knows and has a reason and a purpose for it all.

In the meantime, in a tiny community in Central New Mexico, in a small church family of believers who knew this young woman as family, all we can do is unite in prayer and support for the young husband who is struggling beyond comprehension, for a little baby who does not yet understand she has lost a gigantic portion of her future but will undoubtedly be forever impacted, and for each other trying to come to grips with a sudden void and loss in our intimate congregation of believers.


529384: The Everyday Life Bible: The Power of God The Everyday Life Bible: The Power of God's Word for Everyday Living
By Joyce Meyer / FaithWords

Reading this Bible will be like having Joyce Meyer sitting next to you, teaching you chapter-by-chapter and precept-by-precept! Special features include:

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  • Book introductions, including brief facts, at the beginning of each book of the Bible
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